Everyone has a beloved relative that we look forward to visiting our home. You can have cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents and more, but one of my favorite relatives is my uncle Eric. When my uncle came, he always laughed and played with us. He always picked us up and gave us cool snacks. He also told us funny jokes and cool stories about his time in the military.
Memorial Day is one of my favorite holidays because it's not just about a three-day weekend, it's about spending time with my uncle and seeing how important being in the military was to him. Uncle Eric and I have created some of the funniest Memorial Day jokes that everyone will love!
The best Memorial Day jokes
What day do people with Alzheimer's forget?
How do soldiers greet each other on Memorial Day?
Hello they say!
What is the USA doing on Memorial Day weekend?
They do the same every other weekend, conquering the world.
What do soldiers say when they forget memorial day?
What is the difference between Veterans Day and Memorial Day?
Memorial Day honors the memory of people who died in wars, while Veterans Day honors those who survived.
What is your favorite Memorial Day tradition?
Spilling BBQ sauce on white pants.
How much space do these Memorial Day jokes take up?
The young officer died and went to heaven. At the Pearly Gates he was received by St. Peter. But the officer was not going to enter. He said, "I will go in there on one condition only, if you assure me there is no regimental sergeant." St. Peters reassured him by saying, "Don't worry, they'll never get here."
The officer went to heaven and is walking when he spots a man in the distance showing off in military gear, with a Sam Browne belt and a nut. "You told me there was no RSM here," the officer returns to St. Peter, "but I just saw one!" "Don't worry," replies St. Peter, "it's only God - he thinks he's RSM."
Did you hear about the man who fixed the air conditioning in his car after Memorial Day?
He came back singing "Freon is not free".
At a 10th anniversary high school reunion, a soldier and a lawyer enter the men's restroom. After using the urinal, the service technician secures the lock and heads for the door. A young lawyer while using the sink says, "Wow, if you went to college, maybe you'd learn to wash your hands!"
The soldier simply replies: "In the army we were taught not to mess with our hands."
Why don't soldiers play hide and seek on Memorial Day?
Because good luck hiding when everyone is off duty!
Why was the Memorial Day BBQ so lively?
Because the grill sergeant was in charge!
What is a Ghastly Soldier's favorite Memorial Day dish?
recommended: Memorial Day Memes
What's the best Memorial Day sale?
In memory of the millions of brave soldiers who died for our country, we're offering 30% off all corduroys and toasters.
What would America be without soldiers?
God without his angels.
In the inferno, an Australian, American and Vietnamese soldier decided to call their home to inform them of the dire conditions. They finally got to Satan and asked for it.
The first round belonged to the American. Satan asked him $100 for the call.
The second round belonged to the Australian. Satan charged him $20 per call because Australia was less developed than the United States.
The last turn belonged to the Vietnamese. Satan charged him a quarter. This angered both the Australian and the American. They complained about unfair treatment. To which Satan casually replied, "The Vietnamese call was local while you both made international calls."
What do workers like best about Memorial Day?
Telling colleagues "See you next Tuesday".
Little Johnny was talking to his friend on Memorial Day.
Little Johnny: One of my grandpa's best qualities was that he never threw anything away.
Friend: God bless him, how did he die in the war?
Johnny: Killed while holding a grenade.
What do military personnel read on Memorial Day?
On Memorial Day, the teacher asked the students, "Do you know why God created wars?"
One of the students: Did he teach us geography?!
Your mom is so stupid she thought Memorial Day was a barbecue day.
recommended: Yo Mom Jokes
A week before Memorial Day, students bring photos of military family members to school to display and share.
The first was Jane, she said, "My father was a combat engineer."
"Combat mechanic?" the teacher asked in surprise.
"Yeah, look at the gear he's holding in his right hand."
Eric said, "My father was a Marine bandit."
"Sea Invader?" the professor asked excitedly.
"Yes, look at the insignia, an eagle with spread wings carrying a dagger in its claws and a shield with five stars."
"That's my great-grandfather," said little Johnny. He was an electrician trained in combat.
"Electrician?" asked the confused teacher.
– Okay, here. You can see two lightning bolts on his head."
How can you insult a close relative of a fallen soldier on Memorial Day?
Wish them a “Happy Memorial Day”.
Why does the US military use digital camouflage?
They left the graphics for better performance.
What's the coolest thing about Memorial Day?
Three days will go by without school shootings.
Which month do soldiers fear the most?
Did you know that the Air Force is the most patriotic US military?
Because it's from the USAF.
Did you know there is a hungry hippo who was a US Army veteran?
Yes, he fought in VietnamNOM-NOM-NOM-NOM-NOM!
Why are there no jokes on Memorial Day?
Because freedom calls!
recommended: Army Recruitment Memes
What is your favorite holiday with cows?
Moo moral day.
The little boy was looking at the names on the wall of the old church when the pastor noticed him.
"What are you looking at?" asked the priest.
“All these names. Who are they;" asked the boy.
The pastor nodded and said, “It's why we have Memorial Day. They are the ones who died in the service."
The little boy thought for a while and then quietly asked, "9:00 or 11:00 service?"
Friend: What are your plans for Memorial Day weekend?
Second friend: I forgot what to do!
When a soldier collides with a Korean car, what is it called?
What do you get when you throw a piano at an army officer?
The upcoming Memorial Day weekend was an opportunity for a kindergarten teacher to talk to students about patriotism. He stated: "We live in a wonderful country." "One of the things we should be thankful for is that we are all free in this country." A small boy approached her from the back of the room. "I'm not single," he said, standing with his hands on his hips. I'm four years old."
What was Bin Laden's last Facebook status?
Someone at the door
Why was Navy not shown in theaters?
Because of the censor ship.
What art form is the US military's favorite?
recommended: Military Jokes
Why was the soldier kicked out of cookery school?
Cook a pomegranate!
What fruits do soldiers hate?
In the military, how do you relate to children?
A hungry soldier is searching the woods when he spots bacon in front of him. He excitedly runs towards him when he is shot.
His mistake was that it wasn't bacon, it was hambus.
What was the soldier's last thought before he died?
What is a dead soldier called?
A wounded American soldier boards a train to the hospital, but the train is full because the last two seats are occupied by a woman and her dog.
The man says to the woman, “Would you like to take just one seat? You don't need two separate seats for you and your dog." But the woman refuses. Then the man tells the woman that he is exhausted from the war and injured, and the last seat on the train is not far, but the woman still refuses.
The man gets very angry and forcibly takes the woman's dog, throws it out the window and takes the last seat.
A British man sitting next to him starts to get angry and yells at an American soldier: “You Americans have terrible manners and are driving me crazy! Americans like you drive on the wrong side of the road, use the wrong measurement system, write dates in the wrong order, and most importantly, throw the wrong bitch out the window!
recommended: Veterans Day Jokes
What is the name of Saddam Hussein's 99-year-old father?
To install SoDamInsane.
Happy Memorial Day everyone..
None of them answered!
Why are soldiers like nude photos?
The best ones are photographed.
Got a better Memorial Day joke? Tell us your Memorial Day puns in the comments section below!