These funny dad jokes are so bad they're actually good (2023)

What is the difference between a normal joke and a dad joke? When the punch line becomes a parent! (Hear polite laughter. 😅) But actually, as silly as it sounds, this answer is half the truth. Dive into Miriam Webster's dictionary and you'll find that the dad joke is "wholesome" humor that usually has a line that is "an obvious or predictable pun or pun." Sound like your dad or grandpa's sense of humor? While we usually roll our eyes at them, pathetic or common paths are a staple of childhood. Sometimes they are just stupid. Other times they are adorable! And you know what? Some dad jokes are so bad they actually arefunny.

We've rounded up the best dad jokes to share with your old man on any occasion, whether it's one of hisFather's Day Messagesor just agood morning text. He'll just have to smile when you tell him you're on a "seafood diet" - you see the food, then you eat it! (Get it?) And if you're having trouble findinggifts for dadframe a special photo of the two of you this yearKarta DIYwhich says, “What's the difference between a men's wallet before and after kids? There are photos where there used to be money.

Those one-liners, puns and jokeschildren's jokessuitable for any moment of the day, month and year! We're pretty sure it's Ree Drummondwife Laddhe appreciates dad's funny joke - he likes a good joke after all. It might surprise Ree (who has the bestmom is jokinglet's add). Go ahead and share these funniest dad jokes with your friends and family - you're sure to laugh!

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The best dad jokes

• What did one plate whisper to the other? Dinner is at my own expense.
• Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he pokes a hole in it.
• Two sheep enter - baaaah.
• Stop searching for the perfect match. use a lighter.
• Try the seafood diet - you see the food, then you eat it.
• Have you heard the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not going to spread it!
• What is Forrest Gump's password? 1 forest 1
• Which state is famous for small drinks? Minnesota.
• What does allspice do? There is a deal with jalapeños.
• If two vegetarians fight, is it still called beef?
• As far as I know, it has never been used.
• I like telling dad jokes. Sometimes he even laughs.
• Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, houses cannot be jumped.
• Why did the scarecrow win a prize? He was excellent in his field.
• What concert would only cost 45 cents? 50 Cent with Nickelback!
• How many telemarketers does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but he has to do it during dinner.
• What are the loudest days of the week? Saturday Sunday. Everything else is everyday.
• What did the seal with a fin say to the shark? If the seal is broken, do not eat.
• How to deal with the fear of speed? Little by little you get over it.
• How to measure the mass of followers of an influencer? Via Instagrams!

The best father jokes for adults

• How do you follow Will Smith through the mud? Follow the fresh prints.
• How to stop charging bull? Cancel his credit card.
• Am I the only man my wife has dated? Unfortunately yes, he said everyone else was either a nine or a ten!
• What's the difference between a men's wallet before and after kids? There are photos where there used to be money.
• I haven't spoken to my wife in four years. I thought it would be rude to interrupt her!
• I wish my gray hair started in Vegas because what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
• My kid blames me for ruining his birthday. That's funny, I didn't even know it was today!
• My kid gave me a mug that said "Best Dad Ever". At least he inherited my sense of humor.
• When the toddler reaches the question "why?" on stage, it's like opening a bottle of champagne - once it's uncorked, there's no going back.
• How to teach children about taxes? You eat 38% of their ice cream.
• I hope my children are not offendedFrostedjokes. They really need to let it go!
• I told my wife that a husband is like fine wine: we just get better with age. The next day he locked me in the basement.
• Why is my husband living a dog's life? He comes in with muddy feet, sits comfortably by the fire and waits to be fed.
• What does a stork do after giving birth to a baby? He's on the couch drinking beer!

The best trite dad jokes

• What's 90 degrees if not covered in ice? North and South Pole.
• What happened when the blue ship and the red ship collided at sea? Their crews were trapped.
• What is the difference between bird flu and swine flu? One requires a post on Twitter and the other requires a gesture.
• What is the name of the queue of men waiting for a haircut? Barbecue queue.
  
• Why do seagulls fly over the sea? If they flew over the bay, they would be pretzels.
• I think I need to go out to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
• What did baby corn say to momma corn? Where's the popcorn?
• Which vegetable is cool, but notToCool? Radish.
• What are the names of the two monkeys who share an Amazon Prime account? First colleagues.
• You cannot write the entry in pairs without "try".
• What is the cell with no exit called? incredible.
• Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get my quarter back.
• Why can't a leopard hide? It is always observed.
• Air used to be free at the gas station, now it costs 2.50. Want to know why? Inflation.
• One day I tried to buy a smart car, but they sold out very quickly. Why; I guess I'm a little slow.
• Ever heard of the claustrophobic astronaut? He just wanted a little more space.
• Why did orange lose the race? The juice is over.
• How to make a rotten pumpkin? With a pumpkin.
• Why are fish so smart? They live in schools!
• What is the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
• Why did the man fall into the well? Because he couldn't see it well!
• Why are peppers such good archers? Why habanero?
• What did the sink in the toilet say? You look flushed!
• Where do ships go when they are sick? on the dock.
• What has ears but does not hear? Corn field!
• Can February be March? No, but April May!
• Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7he atenine!
• I'm such a good sleeper that I sleep with my eyes closed.
• What is a pencil with two erasers called? Pointless.
• Have you heard the one about the roof? It's okay, it's over your head.
• What is brown and sticky? Stick.
• I hated facial hair, but then it started growing.
• It really takes courage to be an organ donor.
• What did the plumber say to the singer? Nice pipes.
• I wanted to tell a time travel joke, but you didn't like it.
• I ordered chicken and egg online. We'll let you know.
• I'm reading a book about antigravity. I can't put it down!
• If I were you, I would avoid sushi. It's a bit suspicious!
• What do houses wear? Address.
• What did the two pieces of bread say on their wedding day? It was bread at first sight.
• What shoes does a lazy person wear? Loafers.
• What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, just waved.
• What happens when a snowman goes crazy? He has a meltdown.

The best father jokes puns

• Why did the fisherman order halibut? Only for halibut!
• Why does Peter Pan always fly? Because this Neverland.
  
• What is the sleeping bull called? Bulldozer.
• How to throw a party in space? you planet
• Why was the broom late for class? It rolled.
• How to make an octopus laugh? With ten tickles!
• What will you say to the rabbit on his birthday? The best!
• Which tree suits your hand? Palm.
• Why couldn't the bike stand on its own? It was two tiring!
• Want to hear a construction joke? I'm still working on it!
• What are fake pasta called? Impasto.
• How does a lawyer say goodbye? I will sue you!
• You can't trust people. They create everything!
• What made the tomato turn red? He saw the salad dressing.
• Can I dive in this pool? It's a deep end.
• What did the buffalo say to his son when he left? Bison!
• Why do vampires always look sick? It's a coffin.
• What musical instrument do you find in the bathroom? Toothpaste tube!
• Which state has the most roads? Rhodes island.
• How do astronomers throw a party? They got lost.
• Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycomb.
• Why do melons do weddings? It's a melon!
• What did the policeman say to her navel? You are under the vest!
• What is the name of the lying cat? Lion.
• If a child refuses to sleep, is he guilty of resisting rest?
• Have you heard of an outlet that got into a fight with the power cord? She thought she might join him.
• What is the name of the fancy fish? Yes-fish-tick.
• If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims.
• How to make 7 even? remove s
• What kind of cars do eggs drive? Volkswagen.
• Where do maths teachers go on vacation? Times Square.
• Why was the field so hot after the game? Because all the fans left.

The best dad jokes in a line

• The coach went to the bank to get his quarterback.
• I asked my dog ​​what two minus two is. He didn't say anything.
• The first thing Santa's elves learn at school is their elf escort.
• Ghosts are bad liars because you can see right through them.
• Shouldn't the "roof" of your mouth be called the ceiling?
• All vampires keep their money in a special place - the blood bank.
• The pony couldn't sing because it was a small horse.
• RIP boiling water, you will blur.
• I told the doctor I was hearing a buzzing sound but she said it was just a bed bug moving around.
• I ate a watch one day. It was very time consuming.
• I once wrote a song about tortillas, but it's more of a cover.
• You can tell by the bark that it is dogwood.
• When does a joke become a dad joke? When will it be known?
• They say 3/2 people can't handle fractions.
• Dogs can't operate MRI machines, but cats can be scanned.
• The witch's vehicle is movingbrrrrrrr!
• I worry about the calendar because its days are numbered.
• Dear Math, it's time to grow up and solve your own problems.
• I only know 25 letters of the alphabet - I don't know y.
• I just don't trust stairs, they're always doing something.
• I used to play the piano by ear, but now I use my hands.

The best bad dad jokes

• Why did the plates stick together? Teaspoon.
• How do celebrities stay calm? They have many fans.
• Why was the painting sent to prison? Because it was framed.
• What does a hurricane look like? With one eye.
• Where do polar bears keep their money? Snow bank.
• What is your favorite tornado game? Tornado!
• How does the moon cut its hair? overshadow it.
• What is the name of the funny mountain? hilly.
• What gets wetter the more it dries? Towel.
• What did the banana say to the boy? Nothing, bananas don't talk!
• What rock group has four men who don't sing? Mount Rushmore.
• My boss wished me a good day and I went home!
• What is the name of the cheese that is not yours? Nacho cheese.
• "Did you cut your hair?" No, I cut them all out.
• I was wondering why frisbee is getting bigger. Then he hit me.
• Want to hear a paper joke? Does not matter. He is torn.
• How many apples are there on the tree? All!
• I talk to myself because sometimes I need expert advice.
• I was addicted to hockey until I came back.
• What do you call someone who tells dad jokes but isn't a dad? fake goodbye
• I could make a pizza joke, but that's a little cheesy.
• If you see a crime at the Apple store, are you an iWitness?
• I hate turnips. It's a rip off.
• Spring has come! I was so excited to water the plants.
• I had to sell the vacuum cleaner. All it did was collect dust.
• Do you know how many dead people are in the cemetery? All.
• "I will call you later." Don't call me later, call me dad.
• If an early bird catches a bug, I'll sleep until I find pancakes.
• The wedding was so beautiful that even the cake was laid.

The best dad jokes for kids

• Why are spiders so smart? They can find anything on the Internet.
• What is the toothless bear called? Rubber bear!
• What do you give a sick lemon? Lemon help.
• What did the nose say to the finger? Stop picking on me!
• Why can't your arm be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a leg.
• What kind of car does a sheep like to drive? Lamborghini.
• Which key is used to open the banana? Monkey.
• What has four wheels and flies? rubbish.
• How to talk to a giant? You use big words!
• How to make a paper dance? Put some boogie in!
• What kind of milk comes from a petted cow? spilled milk.
• What is a sea monster's favorite dinner? Fish and ships.
• What is an alligator in a vest called? researchers.
• Why are pigs so bad at sports? They always catch the ball.
• Why shouldn't you tell jokes to an egg? It will pop.
• What is a long and slippery foot? slipper.
• What is your favorite kind of ninja boots? Sports!
• What is orange and what sounds like a parrot? Carrot!
• How does a penguin build a house? Igloo it together.
• Why isn't anyone friends with Dracula? It hurts the neck.
• How do you learn about ice cream? Sunday school.