Why does my husband treat me like a child? (9 Reasons That Might Surprise You!) - Your Standard (2023)

When a marriage is balanced and equal, it allows both spouses to grow together. They can express and address any concerns and care for each other with respect.

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But not all marriages are the same. When your husband treats you like a child, it tilts power and control in favor of a partner. He makes all the decisions, he's in controlyour finances, the relationship, how they dress and even where they work.

This is aextremely unhealthyway of life and little by little will have a detrimental effect on your partner.

You wouldn't think that in the 21st century women allow themselves to be treated like little girls. However, there are some marriages where this behavior is prevalent.

So, do women fall into the trap of being treated like little girls, or do they secretly enjoy it?

There are a growing number of women who choose to stopresponsibilityto its partners. These "given wives" are self-assured women who are subservient to their husbands by choice.

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However, choosing to be a subservient wife is different from letting your partner treat you like a child. So if your partner treats you like a child, read on to find out why.

9 Reasons Why My Husband Treats Me Like a Child

1. You are letting it happen without realizing it.

When two people get married, they usually take on roles that they are comfortable with. They may expect their partner to act a certain way in the relationship. For example, a man might think that now that he is married, his wife will do all the housework.

A spouse may believe that their partner will support them and their children. But sometimes these roles are distorted without us noticing. Maybe you fell into a childish role without realizing it. Perhaps you are used to being spoken to in a certain way. Or maybe you were raised in an environment where this behavior was acceptable?

2. You are comfortable in a reporting role

Such asdelivered wivesvoluntarily relinquish control to their husbands, so too can a wife involuntarily relinquish control. The feeling of total surrender can be tempting for those who are afraid of the modern world.

Having responsibility is sometimes a burden. Being submissive and letting someone else take control of the relationship can be tempting. Even men can feel that way. Why do you think there are dungeons and BDSM lovers? Or places where children wear diapers and are treated like babies and "maternal"?

3. Your husband is controlling.

On the other hand, you might be married to aextremely controllinghusband. In this case, treating him like a child is a form of abuse because it is about power and manipulation.

Children have to do what their parents say. Their lives are restricted, rules are set and boundaries are set. Break the rules or cross the line and you will be punished accordingly. Of course, this is not acceptable in a mature relationship.

4. Your husband doesn't respect you

They say you have to earn respect, but what if your partner doesn't respect you? Perhaps he is too critical of every little mistake you make. Or maybe he believes that he himself is never wrong, so he will not tolerate this from you.

Their disrespect for you can make you feel like they are treating you like a child. Ask yourself if he is condescending or condescending to other people in his life. he could bearrogantand degrading for everyone. If not, ask him why he's okay in your relationship.

5. You act immaturely.

On the other hand, perhaps it is your behavior that elicits this attitude in your husband. Is there something you are doing that makes you act this way? Perhaps you were the baby of the family and your parents gave you special treatment?

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Did they spoil you or let you do things your siblings couldn't do? As your family's favorite child, you may not have the same boundaries or responsibilities as your siblings. As a result, you might mistake this kind of treatment for love and expect it in your adult relationships.

In a healthy relationship, both partners aremaduro.

6. You don't want to take responsibility

There's something quite seductive about having no responsibility at all. Again, I think the roots go back to childhood. Children have no responsibilities. When we grow up, we don't have to worry about bills, paying rent or a mortgage, getting a high-paying job, or all the other things that make usindependent adults.

Delegating this responsibility to your partner may seem tempting, but it hurts your relationship in the long run. I know couples where one member takes full responsibility for the home. Then, in old age, when they die, the other partner is deprived. Not just because of her sad death, but because they have no idea how to act like adults.

If you want your partner to stop treating you like a child, you will have to grow up and communicate this through conversation.

7. Their relationship is based on the parent/child relationship

As I said before, some couples in a marriage naturally fall intospecific roleswithin the relationship. Sometimes these roles are based on a parent/child relationship. This is where one person adopts a mature parenting style and the other adopts an immature childlike personality.

Again, if you're both happy with these roles, there should be no problems at first. But gradually, a person may begin to resent having to "raise" their partner all the time. The other may want to break free of their childish restraints.

8. He is reacting to your behavior.

If you constantly act like a child, don't be surprised when your husband treats you like one. For example, choosing not to work full time, partying with your friends when there are bills to pay, or even throwing tantrums when things don't go your way.

If any of these sound familiar, it might be time to consider changing your behavior so your partner can change theirs. After all, you can't ask to be treated like a mature adult if you don't act like one. Listen to what he says if you want to correct your behavior.

9. He has old-fashioned opinions

There are someold fashioned boysThey see women a certain way. To these men, women are helpless creatures who need a man to help them in all areas of their lives. If you can't imagine this scenario, think back to the days when women fainted at the slightest thing, when men would put their coats in puddles so women wouldn't get their feet wet. And don't forget that women have only had the right to vote for the last 100 years.

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Some guys want to go back to this era, where women were delicate and fragile and needed men to protect them. This is certainly possible if her husband comes from a family that had parents with strict gender roles. However, treating your partner like a child is never acceptable.

common questions

Why does my husband treat me like a child?

There are many reasons for this. He can be insecure andjealous manwho treats you like a child as a form of control. Or maybe that's how he was raised and he sees nothing wrong with it. Then again, it could be reacting to your behavior. Are you acting like a child?

What do you call it when your spouse treats you like a child?

It is condescending and humiliating to be treated like a child when you are in amarried. When your partner treats you like a child, he is patronizing you. They speak with an air of superiority and arrogance, specifically to put you down and belittle you.

How can I get my husband to stop treating me like a child?

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Ask yourself if it's something you're doing that is causing your husband to react to your behavior. If not, challenge your partner and tell him that he is wrong for talking to you this way. If necessary, suggest advice. However, if you are afraid to confront your husband, make sure it is safe to do so.conversationbefore boarding it.

How to deal with an immature husband?

It depends on the immaturity and when it occurs. Are you frivolous with money? Unemployed with a family but refusing to get a job? Do you think you should do all the housework yourself? Make sure you don't activate it before speaking. Let him know that he needs to be responsible for the family's survival. He has to contribute his fair share. Remember, if you end up treating your partner like a child, you are only contributing to aunhealthy relationship.

Why is my husband acting like a child?

It could be the way he was raised by his parents. Perhaps he was the youngest in the family and was treated differently. Maybe he's emotionally immature because he's never had one.serious relationshipbefore. On the other hand, he might be lazy and want you to take on the adult role. Remember, marriages work best when both spouses are equal.

In conclusion

It's not easy being treated like a child, but hopefully this article will shed some light on why this is so.

Feel free to share this article.

Why does my husband treat me like a child? (9 Reasons That Might Surprise You!) - Your Standard (3)

Olivia Surtees

After realizing that I was the person everyone around me kept coming to for dating advice, I decided to merge that skill with my profession: writing. So I became a relationship advice writer! Being able to showcase not only my passion for writing but also my passion for helping others in their relationships means a lot to me and I look forward to continuing to do so. Studying the vast and complicated world of relationships appeals to me, and I constantly strive to learn more so that I can help others with more knowledge and experience.

Read the full biography
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What is it called when your spouse treats you like a child? ›

There is a word for treating someone like a child – it's called parenting! Many couples have a parent-child dynamic happening in their relationship, but that doesn't mean it's healthy. Having excessive rules and babying your partner can suck the fun – not to mention romance- out of your partner.

Why does he treat me like a child? ›

When a person treats their partner like a child, it's often because the partner has demonstrated that they are okay with that treatment. They may not have a strong sense of self, appropriate boundaries, or feel safe conflicting with the other person.

What does it mean to be treated like a child? ›

Infantilization is when an adult is being treated like a child, even though nothing about their mental, physical, social, or intellectual wellbeing requires such treatment.

What to do when someone treats you like a child? ›

Blaming someone will put them on the defense. For instance, don't say, " You always treat me like a little kid." Instead, say "I feel upset when you still treat me like a child. I've grown up." Be specific by talking about particular statements or behaviors that bother you.

What is manipulative behavior in marriage? ›

Someone who manipulates their partner may use a variety of tactics, including gaslighting, lying, blaming, and criticizing. Their goal is to undermine their partner's sense of self-worth, making it more difficult for their partner to stand up for themselves.

What is Walkaway wife Syndrome? ›

What Is a Walkaway Wife? Also referred to as the "neglected wife syndrome" and "sudden divorce syndrome," walkaway wife syndrome is "nothing more than a term used to characterize a person who has decided they cannot stay in the marriage any longer," says Joshua Klapow, Ph.

Why do narcissists treat you like a child? ›

When narcissists feel humiliated, slighted, or inferior, they frequently revert to a childlike state, behaving like a child during the “terrible twos.” Such regression is not surprising.

How do you describe someone who treats you like a child? ›

Condescension is rude and patronizing.

What do you do when your dad treats you like a child? ›

Stay calm, step back, and reflect on how they are making you feel. Then decide to react in a manner that will not reinforce their image of you as a dependent child. Here are some things to try instead: When family members tease you about past behaviors you have outgrown or overcome, don't be offended.

What is it called when someone acts like a little kid? ›

Age regression may be the result of a medical or psychiatric issue. For example, some individuals experiencing significant distress or pain may revert to childlike behavior as a means to cope with anxiety or fear. Certain mental health issues make age regression more likely.

Why do I act like a child around my significant other? ›

“In psychoanalytic theory, individuals revert their behavior to an earlier stage of development, and they may mimic childish mannerisms as well as speech. It is actually very common and most couples resort to it when they want to either display vulnerability or as a way to get closer in a very intimate manner.”

Why does my husband treat me so poorly? ›

Having low self-esteem is one of the most common reasons why many people allow their partners to treat them badly. Childhood trauma, a false belief of how relationships work, and even a mindset that your partner will still change are all reasons why you are not doing anything about your situation.

What is demeaning behavior in a relationship? ›

Demeaning behaviors are those which work to lower a person's healthy self-love by devaluing, degrading and debasing their personal worth. Demeaning has two major subcategories called (A) Derisiveness and (B) Disdain. Demeaning behaviors are the number two destroyers of love relationships.

How should a man treat you in a relationship? ›

It's About Respect: 15 Signs He Treats You The Way You Truly...
  1. He gives you attention from the moment you wake up. ...
  2. He feeds not just your body, but your mind. ...
  3. He loves surprising you. ...
  4. He spends time with you because he wants to, not because he feels obligated to. ...
  5. When he makes plans, you're a part of them.
Apr 21, 2015

How does a husband Gaslight his wife? ›

Gaslighting spouses turn the tables and blame you for their poor behavior. They distort the narrative to make you appear to be the one mistreating them. For example, if you work overtime, you neglect them and do not want to spend time with them.

What are the 4 stages of manipulation? ›

The 4 stages of manipulation
  • Flattery. The first stage is when the person who manipulates puts on a facade of being kind, caring, and helpful. ...
  • Isolation. This is when the person who manipulates may start to isolate you from your friends and family. ...
  • Devaluing and gaslighting. ...
  • Fear or violence.

What is a narcissistic husband? ›

A narcissistic husband is usually a very selfish person and will only think about themselves, and not about you or your relationship together. They might expect you to do all the housework, or they may want to have sex with you when they want it, but not when you want it.

What is the #1 cause of divorce? ›

Lack of commitment is the most common reason given by divorcing couples according to a recent national survey. Here are the reasons given and their percentages: Lack of commitment 73% Argue too much 56%

What is emotional neglect in marriage? ›

Emotional neglect occurs when a spouse fails on a regular basis to attend to or respond to their partner's emotional needs. This is marked by a distinct lack of action by one person toward the feelings of the other, including an absence of awareness, consideration, or response to a spouse's emotions.

What is emotional disconnect in a marriage? ›

Signs of emotional detachment can include a disinterest in offering emotional support or a lack of feeling of emotional intimacy with a partner. An emotionally unavailable person may feel disconnected, and in response, may emotionally disconnect themselves.

What is an enmeshed marriage? ›

What is an enmeshed relationship? An enmeshed relationship is one where we see extreme over-involvement with a significant other at the expense of healthy individual identity and social functioning.

What is mini husband syndrome? ›

Mini wife syndrome (or mini husband syndrome) is pretty much exactly what it sounds like: your stepkid acts more like your partner's spouse than their child. Cool, another weird and confusing plot twist in your stepparenting journey!

What is an ambivalent marriage? ›

What is an ambivalent relationship? It means a partner cannot decide if they want to be in a relationship with someone or not. They can feel connected emotionally to this person, but they sometimes think they can have a better partner. They also feel frustration and anxiety because they cannot leave this relationship.

What is a mesh relationship? ›

Enmeshment is a description of a relationship between two or more people in which personal boundaries are permeable and unclear. This often happens on an emotional level in which two people “feel” each other's emotions, or when one person becomes emotionally escalated and the other family member does as well.

What is disengagement in a relationship? ›

You are indifferent and romantically disengaged, if you:

are less involved in your partner's life. speak with your partner less frequently. interact with your partner in less intimate ways. are less attentive to your partner's needs and the relationship. avoid discussing personal topics that make you feel vulnerable.

What is enmeshed trauma? ›

Enmeshment often begins when one family member has a mental health condition or substance abuse issue. Enmeshment normalizes harmful behavior and can be a way to avoid treatment. Enmeshed families often view dissent as betrayal. Enmeshed families may demand an unusual level of closeness even from adult children.

What is daddy syndrome? ›

“Daddy issues” is generally a catchall phrase, often used disparagingly to refer to women who have complex, confusing, or dysfunctional relationships with men. It can describe people (most often women) who project subconscious impulses toward the male partners in their life.

What is a selfish husband? ›

This type of husband is someone who looks after his own needs ahead of his spouse. He does not take into account the feelings and needs of his spouse as long as his own are met. As a result, his wife feels neglected and disrespected. You might think that it is easy to spot a selfish husband.

What is American wife syndrome? ›

American Wife Syndrome describes the sort of woman who initially deems a listed cottage “quaint” then sets about essentially razing it to the ground. It is an affliction that I recognise all too well as I suffer from this condition – as do most of my compatriots who are also American wives in the UK.

What is invalidation in marriage? ›

Invalidation is a pattern in which one (or both) spouse(s) either directly or indirectly puts down, or questions the feelings of the other. This may be done by denying, minimizing, ridiculing, ignoring, or judging the other's feelings or perceptions. Regardless of the means, the effect is clear.

What is a disconnected marriage? ›

Relationships that lack emotional intimacy are characterized by feelings of isolation, disconnection, and a lack of emotional safety. Even though there's time spent together, there's no real emotional connection or understanding between you. And the effects of a lack of intimacy are serious.

What does a one sided marriage look like? ›

A one-sided marriage is when one partner has more control in the relationship. You go to their parents' house for the holidays, you hang out with their friends, you go on vacation where they want to go. You don't have a lot of say in the matter.

What are the signs of immature husband? ›

Here's a look at some signs of emotional immaturity that can show up in a relationship and steps you can take if you recognize them in your own.
  • They won't go deep. ...
  • Everything is about them. ...
  • They become defensive. ...
  • They have commitment issues. ...
  • They don't own their mistakes. ...
  • You feel more alone than ever.
Mar 30, 2020

What are signs of emotional immaturity? ›

Here are 5 signs of emotional immaturity in a person:
  • They cannot keep their emotions in check. ...
  • They blame others when confronted. ...
  • An emotionally immature person can have difficulty maintaining true relationships. ...
  • They may bully others to protect their feelings. ...
  • They can have commitment issues.
Aug 25, 2022


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